SPOUSES AREN'T SOLD IN SUPERMARKETS!

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Its almost 2:30am and a lot of people are in bed,but I can't sleep.So I sneaked into the kitchen to warm some left-over rice and after eating. I feel a bit guilty,couldn't I have taken a fruit or a snack? Anyway the rice I ate was little,I promise.lol!:-) I have handled a bit of marital issues and in most cases the wife is the one I usually talk to. I have always advocated a no divorce policy but in the same time,I must be sure that the woman isn't in any harms way. Most women complain to me about verbal abuse,and by the grace of God by the time will finish the counselling sessions(most times thru private messages on Facebook,skype and in critical times thru telephone) the abuse would have reduced or totally stopped without any divorce being in place. I would have loved to share some of the tips here,but the men would read it and make it ineffective for the women in difficult situations in their marriages. If you are a wife and your marriage isn't working the way it should,like my page on Facebook "Ask Sista Bola" and then send me a private message. Ladies you don't want to miss lunch with Sista Bola,this year in Lagos and Abuja,and make sure you buy tickets for your hubby,fiance or brother to Sista Bola is having lunch with the men. Everything that I have taught women on my page,on the phone,in seminars, in churches are biblical principles,and as been tested and proven. The Lord has also taken thru some of the things in my own marriage and honestly I wouldn't trade my hubby and home for anything in the whole wide world. I have to speak to my sisters,who have the idea that marriage is like an Hollywood film,where everything is perfect,from the planning to the wedding day,and then happily ever after without any hitch. The problem with a fantasy wedding is that as soon as expectations aren't met,the marriage begins to crack. Don't expect that pressure won't mount on your husband,someone that has been taking care of himself alone,now he has another person to take care of,he is scared and atimes confused.So in the bid for you to see him as macho, he picks a quarrel just to cover his insecurity. Over the years,I have studied my hubby and this has helped me not just only to have a blissful marriage but also peace of mind. We have to stop having it at the back of our minds that we can replace our spouses as soon as they hurt us or make mistakes. When Hillary Clinton forgave her hubby after the Monica Lewensky saga,many people couldn't believe it,many thought she was stupid, a great deal of women said,she disgraced the women folk. Beloved,when it's all said and done,and you decide to divorce your wife or husband,you will be the one alone at night licking your wounds or crying into your pillow. People say a lot of things outside but do you know,what is really going on in their homes? Yes! If your spouse cheats on you,it can hurt,but why don't you forgive and move on? Why don't you give him or her a benefit of doubt,and also consider the children in the relationship? I don't know why divorce is a common thing in the body of Christ nowadays, and when you really sit people down and ask them why they left their spouse,the answer they give is that they weren't compatible. I tell you,no man or woman is too difficult to live with. Prayerfully begin to observe your spouse,change the way you do certain things,change the way you talk,let your body language be different. You will see a change! God is interested in marriages and He is concerned about yours. Don't rush to condemn your spouse,no one is useless or worthless. Speak life into and home and watch God do wonders. The husbands find it hard,to forgive their wives especially if they cheated on them,please do. Women have forgiven their husbands over and over again, concerning adultery,why can't the men do the same? Don't expect a perfect marriage,because people are from different backgrounds and different pasts. Learn to appreciate individual differences and learn to overlook a great deal and comment on a few. Don't listen to Hollywood definition of marriage,your answers are found in the bible. Jesus will see you thru no matter how hard.He loves you! Be greatly blessed.Now that I have shared with you,I am off to bed.Shalom, Sista Bola.