MARRIAGE IS VERY PRACTICAL;ITS A DAY BY DAY JOURNEY.

Honestly,I thank God for the grace to be able to use this forum to save a lot of marriages. I usually take every case individually and also remember that no two people are alike. Naturally I had impatience, I didn't understand why things couldn't be done the way I felt was right,until God stepped in and began to mould me and tell me that those I considered "slow to understand" He created them too and whatsoever I might think I have in terms of understanding He gave it to me as a blessing to others. I usually get ecstatic when a wife that almost packed out of her home,few weeks earlier would call me or email to tell me that the steps I took her thru is working in her home and that her husband has changed or is changing for the better. Honestly I cannot tell you categorically what the steps are but whenever I read a message or listen to someone about their issues then the Holy Spirit begins to direct me on what best to say or write. People often wonder why I know so much about marriage, is she talking from experience? Yes and no. My parents didn't have the best of marriage and initially as a young lady,I told myself that why marry if its not going to be till death? So due to my "stubbornness", when I got married it had to be forever. Did I marry a fantastic man,no doubt! Did I marry a perfect man,not true! I married a man that was almost a priest, he was in the seminary for 14 years, he even wrote his thesis there,meaning he had just few months before becoming Father callistus (lol) before he left. I met him years after he left o,so that nobody will think I seduced a priest. What am I driving at? Isn't he supposed to be easy to talk too? aren't priests the ones that hear confessions? The first year of our marriage wasn't easy for me,I'm naturally a talkative when I am in a familiar environment,but not Father Callistus(lol) my hubby will never talk,you don't know when he was sad,happy or depressed. It was hard for me,believe you me,he did everything in the house because he is a clean freak and it got to me that he even picked up little crumbs and sand specks. He was a Christian but wasn't born-again, he was morally upright but had no personal relationship with Jesus.AndI felt he was a project that got dumped on me. He was loving alright and my friends would tell me how blessed I was,they were right but something wasn't right. You couldn't ask him questions because if he wasn't in the mood,he would walk away without a word. I thought to myself, I am in trouble,I married a mad man! God was speaking to me then,but I didn't understand. I never knew I had a strong ministry, never knew about prophecy. I heard God tell me clearly that he would change my hubby to be more open and that He will use me to save homes. To wives out there,please don't give up on your husbands especially when they don't beat you. My husband was perfect from the outside,every woman's dream but was cold on the inside. I needed help,I saw the relationship he had with his siblings,it was very cordial but not warm,his sisters told me they can count the times they saw him laugh. I saw that he was extreme in keeping his thoughts to himself,it couldn't work I was dying inside. Wisdom came from above and I began to engage him on long talks on the bed,I would say tell me about growing up? how was it when you went away to school? it was all about him now, nothing about me.I wanted to get to his heart and stay there;funny enough after about 16 years he tells me,only God knows what you did to me,I can almost not breath if i ever think that you are not there for me. I cry most times due to the love he shows me,he tells everyone how important "mamaa" is to him,but that didn't just fall from heaven. I work it out! yes heaven backed me up! Why am I sharing a bit of my life with you? Its because everybody seems to be a marriage counselor these days and they tend to make it look,like if you just pray without the practical aspects it would fall on your laps. It isn't true! After my husband began to "open" himself to me,I understood him more. I saw the training he got from the seminary, it was like a military training. I tried not to judge him or get angry when he suddenly cuts me off. I wanted to cry, I wanted to bang his head on the wall but I knew I had to get to his heart. We began to joke more,I would jump on his back and do silly things,and finally he began to laugh. One of his sisters was shocked one day,when she saw us playing,she almost wept,She had been his elder sister for almost 35 years at that time and almost can't remember seeing him laugh. I continue thru the help of God and I treat my husband with respect and it worked! I know he is reading this now and saying mamaa i know your secret now but its too late for him,he is hooked to me for life! Try to know who your spouse don't judge yours with others. Don't compare,ask God for help. I never forced him to be open,he choose to be I just guided him with the help of God. He saw something in me and although he thinks its part of my stubbornness that did it,atleast it worked for the best. I still remembered vividly on of our wedding anniversary,when my hubby stood up in the service and walked up to re-dedicate his life. I quickly cried in my seat and wiped the tears. I never asked him why or how, but he said that there is something in you that I want,with all your stubbornness,I want what you have. He wanted a closer relationship with Jesus and he got it! Years on and 16 years in, he is still disciplined but fun loving,there is nothing he keeps from me,infact I have passwords to all emails,bank accounts,everything! Not that he is a fool for doing that,but because he trusts me so much,loves me like Christ loves the church and I in return respect and cherish him. Can your husband really trust you? Does he see you as being matured enough to handle the truth? I am not talking about age,because at 18 I was already getting contracts. I am talking about you being able to let things go,talk less and show more understanding. Is my hubby 100% now? Nobody is,he still tries to carry some burdens by himself without sharing ;atimes I let him, most times I don't! Is our marriage made in heaven? Yes no doubt,but beloved its worked out here on earth! Do you think you are about to give up? Please talk to me,I might have something to share. Sorry to bother you with my epistle but I just needed to share this. To my darling hubby,you might be a bubble atimes but I love you,i get choice? To everyone,its not over till its over! Shalom, Sista Bola.