Pardon me beloved,I am a bit upset this morning because of something that isn't any business of mine. Yes I don't know the person involved but usually this kind of issue becomes everybody's issues,as soon as there is death involved. Its a case of wife battering. I preached in church last Sunday,and I spoke about domestic abuse,when I said if your husband beats you please let us know,people kept a straight face but when I said if your wife beats you let us know,the congregation burst out laughing. It was a joke to them,a wife beat her husband? no way! but its a normal thing for a husband to beat his wife until she goes into coma. Honestly yesterday I wanted to keep quiet on this lady that has been beaten,maybe countless times and her family reacted, not by beating the man o,but by sending him a stinking text message. He was angry and "banned" her from seeing them especially her sister. I read somewhere that victims after being with their abusers for a long period of time,tend to have empathy for them. Honestly I don't really care about these men;they don't have dignity and I believe most of them need help,because if we find out they have gone thru a kind of abuse that they are trying to hide by bullying or beating their wives. I am talking to you sister Susan,Sista Bisi and malama Binta,Ekaete and Uche you too are included, you need to wake up and break yourself from this constant boxing match,where you are constantly knocked out flat in the first round. Deaths of women everywhere,caused by a men that pledged to stand by them and cherish them till death,the only difference is that the death part came first before the cherishing. The first thing I asked before I counsel a women or man is;does your spouse beat you? how frequently? I got a message from a woman,she told me "he beats me often and never takes care of the home and I go to cook but he ignores me and makes me pay". Prayers is so good and I am for it 100% but you don't pray that a mad man leaves you alone ;you run!!! Why are women so afraid to leave terrible men,I mean separate from them,find a safe haven? I don't want you to think am an advocate of divorce no,I am pro family 100% but one of my aunt was a victim,she died and never came back,isn't that a loss to us? Why are women so afraid of leaving the tag of Mr&;Mrs behind? These men have so much brainwashed these women or abused them to a point that the think they deserve the beating. They think it must have been something I said or did. These men call their wives useless and after a while they begin to feel so. I believe you women with children that are being beaten ,blue black are selfish, Yes selfish! you allow those innocent children to witness this terrible scene over and over. You as a mum should protect them from harm,not expose them to it. My heart gets broken when I read messages of women in pain,I cry,I weep,I pray but most especially I wish these men could be locked up in cages. Why do you think a woman should be beaten and her weave-on yanked off? What has a woman done to deserve being stabbed? Are we all living in a fools paradise,that more people and organisations aren't taking this seriously ? We need a special anti-abuse department in our churches. Ha Kilode,oju obirin ri o!( God,women are going thru hell ) I am going to tell us two stories;you decide!Continue This first lady I will call E-baby she is my very good friend,we had our daughters a month apart and we become friends ever before we met our husbands. She was a secretary of an Oil company(not palm oil,petroleum ) in Lagos. She studied in the US and honestly very pretty,you know these dark ibo babes that are tall. She had everything going on for her,she drove and she lived in her own apartment in her big sister's home. Then disaster struck,she met this guy or because she was very nice to one of their security guys at work he decided to reward her with one of his town's man that just came back from "abroad" and has some money and also his mum was rich.My friend got married to a semi-illiterate, I could remember that this babe move in with 15 big boxes of her own and a big jewelry trunk. One of the reasons we even became friends in the first place,was her love for jewelry. They started off in a 3bedroom apartment, then within a year he built a 6 apartment block of 3 bedrooms ,but he hated her as soon as she moved him,his mum actually told her not to marry him because in her words" I betrothed him to my best friend's daughter". Honestly I wondered why my friend would ever like this guy,her sister is still one of the most wealthiest in Abuja,so it wasn't the money,I was so confused,it must have been that blind love that people often talk about. The abuse started almost immediately ,he would call her names,big for nothing,idiot etc then he told her to resign her job.I thought she was joking,when she told me but when I found out she was serious I thought she was crazy. I told her no,We prayed together,funny enough I have found out that men that are abusers know strong women. He told her all her friends aren't welcomed but I told him,that I trust I am not on the list,he quickly added you are always welcome Bola. Then she tendered her resignation letter,her boss the MD of the oil company and his wife called her,they asked her what was wrong,she told them its because of family,they were prepared to give her a special maternity leave,they loved her so much,her salary was so good but she left for love(no way,because she was afraid).Her boss was an American, he told her,I just pray you are fine,but she kept the pain away from everybody except me. They paid her off in millions and her husband said he needed the money to add to his business. She told me and I told her logically this man is a multi-millionaire ;please pray well. I knew he wanted the money to render her useless but again she was afraid.I even suggested given him a little out of it but she gave him all and according to her,he will repay her. Of course he did repay her with blows,kicks and the rest but what broke my heart was her having a still birth or so we heard in an hospital somewhere in a slum when she was registered in Citizen hospital,one of the best in Lagos, but was never taken there. The baby was a boy,he looked healthy she told me but the cause of death until today is still unknown . Then the real horror began,she would hide in her room and the door would be broken down,she was beaten with belt and the sort,her daughter saw all these,but one night my friend said she knew she had to leave or she would be dead by the following day. He started beating her and he broke a bottle and said she" if i don't kill you tonight,i won't be able to kill you again" She ran out of the expansive house and stood on the street shouting and wailing,she said she wouldn't leave without her daughter. Her lovely daughter my beloved god daughter was handed over to her. She continue her walk into the darkness of the night without any hope,no money and no home,but she was determined to survive with her daughter. Today about 8 years after,a lady that was almost stripped of everything including her dignity,is back on her feet. She lives a comfortable life in Abuja,her daughter will go off to the university next year,she lives well,drives a good car and runs a business. She is as pretty as ever and she is alive and well. You know why? She choose to live! She ran and never looked back. The guy has remarried and has boys now,but we hear that the horse-whip he used on her is still popping hot for his new bride.I duff my gele for my friend E-baby and all women in the world that did manage to "run" and to those who died,we will fight this crime,it wont continue in Jesus name. Are you being beaten? Are you too afraid to tell or leave? Believe me,your children won't visit your grave when you die. So because we love you,you don't allow anyone to make you feel inferior especially a spouse who took an oath to love,cherish and protect you. I rest my case on this and I pray that you sister that is more concerned about making your husband feel okay after he cheated on you and even have a trophy sex tape to show for it;beat you blue black and you landed in the hospital,rather than you waking up to the reality of the damage he is doing to you, I pray the lord helps you! Maybe you are staying because of the tag or maybe he is a dynamite in bed,its your cup of tea but remember all these things will end suddenly, if God forbid you are carried out in a bodybag or worse a Ghana most go bag. I hope I have shocked our sensibilities, please let's wake up and smell the pot of goat meat pepper soup. Love you all and please let's pray without ceasing! Shalom,Sista Bola.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
YOU CAN'T BE A FAITHFUL WIFE FROM THE GRAVE!
Pardon me beloved,I am a bit upset this morning because of something that isn't any business of mine. Yes I don't know the person involved but usually this kind of issue becomes everybody's issues,as soon as there is death involved. Its a case of wife battering. I preached in church last Sunday,and I spoke about domestic abuse,when I said if your husband beats you please let us know,people kept a straight face but when I said if your wife beats you let us know,the congregation burst out laughing. It was a joke to them,a wife beat her husband? no way! but its a normal thing for a husband to beat his wife until she goes into coma. Honestly yesterday I wanted to keep quiet on this lady that has been beaten,maybe countless times and her family reacted, not by beating the man o,but by sending him a stinking text message. He was angry and "banned" her from seeing them especially her sister. I read somewhere that victims after being with their abusers for a long period of time,tend to have empathy for them. Honestly I don't really care about these men;they don't have dignity and I believe most of them need help,because if we find out they have gone thru a kind of abuse that they are trying to hide by bullying or beating their wives. I am talking to you sister Susan,Sista Bisi and malama Binta,Ekaete and Uche you too are included, you need to wake up and break yourself from this constant boxing match,where you are constantly knocked out flat in the first round. Deaths of women everywhere,caused by a men that pledged to stand by them and cherish them till death,the only difference is that the death part came first before the cherishing. The first thing I asked before I counsel a women or man is;does your spouse beat you? how frequently? I got a message from a woman,she told me "he beats me often and never takes care of the home and I go to cook but he ignores me and makes me pay". Prayers is so good and I am for it 100% but you don't pray that a mad man leaves you alone ;you run!!! Why are women so afraid to leave terrible men,I mean separate from them,find a safe haven? I don't want you to think am an advocate of divorce no,I am pro family 100% but one of my aunt was a victim,she died and never came back,isn't that a loss to us? Why are women so afraid of leaving the tag of Mr&;Mrs behind? These men have so much brainwashed these women or abused them to a point that the think they deserve the beating. They think it must have been something I said or did. These men call their wives useless and after a while they begin to feel so. I believe you women with children that are being beaten ,blue black are selfish, Yes selfish! you allow those innocent children to witness this terrible scene over and over. You as a mum should protect them from harm,not expose them to it. My heart gets broken when I read messages of women in pain,I cry,I weep,I pray but most especially I wish these men could be locked up in cages. Why do you think a woman should be beaten and her weave-on yanked off? What has a woman done to deserve being stabbed? Are we all living in a fools paradise,that more people and organisations aren't taking this seriously ? We need a special anti-abuse department in our churches. Ha Kilode,oju obirin ri o!( God,women are going thru hell ) I am going to tell us two stories;you decide!Continue This first lady I will call E-baby she is my very good friend,we had our daughters a month apart and we become friends ever before we met our husbands. She was a secretary of an Oil company(not palm oil,petroleum ) in Lagos. She studied in the US and honestly very pretty,you know these dark ibo babes that are tall. She had everything going on for her,she drove and she lived in her own apartment in her big sister's home. Then disaster struck,she met this guy or because she was very nice to one of their security guys at work he decided to reward her with one of his town's man that just came back from "abroad" and has some money and also his mum was rich.My friend got married to a semi-illiterate, I could remember that this babe move in with 15 big boxes of her own and a big jewelry trunk. One of the reasons we even became friends in the first place,was her love for jewelry. They started off in a 3bedroom apartment, then within a year he built a 6 apartment block of 3 bedrooms ,but he hated her as soon as she moved him,his mum actually told her not to marry him because in her words" I betrothed him to my best friend's daughter". Honestly I wondered why my friend would ever like this guy,her sister is still one of the most wealthiest in Abuja,so it wasn't the money,I was so confused,it must have been that blind love that people often talk about. The abuse started almost immediately ,he would call her names,big for nothing,idiot etc then he told her to resign her job.I thought she was joking,when she told me but when I found out she was serious I thought she was crazy. I told her no,We prayed together,funny enough I have found out that men that are abusers know strong women. He told her all her friends aren't welcomed but I told him,that I trust I am not on the list,he quickly added you are always welcome Bola. Then she tendered her resignation letter,her boss the MD of the oil company and his wife called her,they asked her what was wrong,she told them its because of family,they were prepared to give her a special maternity leave,they loved her so much,her salary was so good but she left for love(no way,because she was afraid).Her boss was an American, he told her,I just pray you are fine,but she kept the pain away from everybody except me. They paid her off in millions and her husband said he needed the money to add to his business. She told me and I told her logically this man is a multi-millionaire ;please pray well. I knew he wanted the money to render her useless but again she was afraid.I even suggested given him a little out of it but she gave him all and according to her,he will repay her. Of course he did repay her with blows,kicks and the rest but what broke my heart was her having a still birth or so we heard in an hospital somewhere in a slum when she was registered in Citizen hospital,one of the best in Lagos, but was never taken there. The baby was a boy,he looked healthy she told me but the cause of death until today is still unknown . Then the real horror began,she would hide in her room and the door would be broken down,she was beaten with belt and the sort,her daughter saw all these,but one night my friend said she knew she had to leave or she would be dead by the following day. He started beating her and he broke a bottle and said she" if i don't kill you tonight,i won't be able to kill you again" She ran out of the expansive house and stood on the street shouting and wailing,she said she wouldn't leave without her daughter. Her lovely daughter my beloved god daughter was handed over to her. She continue her walk into the darkness of the night without any hope,no money and no home,but she was determined to survive with her daughter. Today about 8 years after,a lady that was almost stripped of everything including her dignity,is back on her feet. She lives a comfortable life in Abuja,her daughter will go off to the university next year,she lives well,drives a good car and runs a business. She is as pretty as ever and she is alive and well. You know why? She choose to live! She ran and never looked back. The guy has remarried and has boys now,but we hear that the horse-whip he used on her is still popping hot for his new bride.I duff my gele for my friend E-baby and all women in the world that did manage to "run" and to those who died,we will fight this crime,it wont continue in Jesus name. Are you being beaten? Are you too afraid to tell or leave? Believe me,your children won't visit your grave when you die. So because we love you,you don't allow anyone to make you feel inferior especially a spouse who took an oath to love,cherish and protect you. I rest my case on this and I pray that you sister that is more concerned about making your husband feel okay after he cheated on you and even have a trophy sex tape to show for it;beat you blue black and you landed in the hospital,rather than you waking up to the reality of the damage he is doing to you, I pray the lord helps you! Maybe you are staying because of the tag or maybe he is a dynamite in bed,its your cup of tea but remember all these things will end suddenly, if God forbid you are carried out in a bodybag or worse a Ghana most go bag. I hope I have shocked our sensibilities, please let's wake up and smell the pot of goat meat pepper soup. Love you all and please let's pray without ceasing! Shalom,Sista Bola.
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Thanks ma for posting this. I hope women will read this and decide to live! Not only for themselves, but also for their children. I used to think domestic violence wasn't so common until d last couple of yrs. I ave friends who are going thru it. Some ave even accepted it as normal. I read a diary where a lady shared how she lived in it for 19yrs. When I read the comments and other women's contribution, I wept. Ladies, pls wake up! If u let him kill u, he'll marry another woman who'll take care of those kids u're claiming to stay in that marriage for. U can read d diary here: http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2013/05/domestic-violence-dairy.html#more
ReplyDeleteOur prayer is that any woman being beaten should seek help fast! Its not our desire for homes to get broken but when a man constantly beats his wife,he has broken his vow of cherish and protect hereby bringing division of his home upon himself. May Christ help our homes in Jesus name.
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