WHY IS IT EASIER TO COMPLAIN THAN TO PRAY?

The bible says pray without ceasing. The world isn't fair and most times we find ourselves swimming in the tides of life. No matter who you are,one time or the other,you will find yourself in a difficult situation,a situation that needs a supernatural approach ;then why don't we just simply pray? Why do we go on and on about God not helping us or why this should happen to us? Jesus Christ our Lord and the author and the finisher of our faith,withdrew himself from time to time to talk to HIS father in heaven. He knew there was a supernatural power that needed to be tapped from heaven. We need everything right but complain all the time. We need an answer but most times we grumble. Is IT our inability to trust God enough? Or man's desire to express his "will" ? Its very easy for us to "disown" "God " with our utterances at every disappointment but HE never leaves us nor forsake us. Its easy to count our losses but never thank God enough for our blessings. The devil loves it when we fail,he rejoices when we complains,he accuses us when we falter. Let's ask for the grace to communicate with the Lord more. The grace to talk to our father more. When it's hurting,let's find succour in HIM, when everything is going smoothly let's bask in HIM. Banish complain and murmuring from your life. When you think that you can pray,just imagine talking to your dear earthly father. He listens and hugs you. Jesus is ready to give us real joy and peace. Are we ready to receive it? The next time devil whispers "complain" into your ears,shut him up with "praise"! God bless you all. Shalom, Sista Bola.

MY FRIEND LOVES TO HATE ME!

This is a true story,with permission from my dear mum. My mum grew up in Lagos. She attended Ireti girls and Aunty Ayo secondary school both in Ikoyi Lagos in the 60s. One thing I notice is that she tends to remember most of the ladies they grew up together and before she became born-again they attended the Lagos owanbe (society )parties together especially the ones where the popular musician Ebenezar Obey was playing· Something happened to my mum when she gave her life;she didn't just give her life because she wanted,no! there was problems in her marriage to my dad and she had to call on Jesus to save her marriage from hawks. During the brief separation from my dad,one of her old friends told her to come stay with her,because all her children were grown and they were all out of the house;she also said it would be an avenue for fresh air for my mum because at that time my younger siblings were all in boarding schools and I was doing my industrial attachment. Mum took the offer and decided to move in with her friend. Old friends began to show up but the difference this time was when they spoke about buying the latest shoes and laces and attending one party after the other,mum spoke about the Holy Ghost service or one church service. Even before mum really gave her life,she had been a passive Christian, even though she was raised by Christians most people on her father's side were Muslims.They were all sent on pilgrimage to Mecca as. young adults except for my mum,who ran to her aunt home for days claiming she knew she wasn't suppose to go. My mum was so grateful that she had a friend from childhood who really cared about her,all her friends would come to the house and they would talk and laugh about growing up in Lagos, when surulere was considered new Lagos and Ikeja was a village. They all had businesses in Lagos that was well run by people,so most of these women could afford to go to parties from Monday to Sunday. My mum began to feel uncomfortable,these women spoke of the need to fortify one's self. My mum would talk about Jesus as the only security and they would all burst out laughing. My mum now identified one of them as a Christian, a descendant of a former king of Lagos. She began to spend more time with her because they had more in common and they both loved Jesus. The woman that invited my mum to her house was upset because mummy refused her help to go and seek help with spiritualists or herbalists,but my mum never knew that. After few months mummy felt it was time to go back to her home because she felt now secured in Christ. Then the problems started! Her friend became angry for no reason and my mum couldn't put her fingers on the issue. One afternoon my mum was sleeping and she was fast asleep,she was in a vision that was clear as a television show. She saw her friend open her bag and pick a charm and spoke into it,but as soon as she wanted to touch her head with the charm in her vision,she heard a painless slap on her and she turned only for the thing in her friend's hand to drop to the floor,it was a charm, the same charm she just saw in her vision. She told her friend to pick it up and my mum picked her bag and went out. My mum now understood that her friend has now turned into a foe,but why? The bible says we aren't wrestling against flesh and blood but against spiritual wickedness in high places. This woman according to my mum in one conversation and confessed to being a "good" witch. What is good about being a witch? mummy ran to her other friend's home,the princess. She told her that she wanted to go back home or better she still has her old apartment empty. They prayed together and you know what,I Sista Bola walked in. My mum had earlier lend her cousin's children some jewelry to use for their mum's burial.?It was just returned and it was in My bag. The maid was sent out on an errand and the next thing we heard was everybody on the floor or you will get killed. They were harmed to the teeth,they were armed robbers. They ransacked everywhere, trust Lagos women my mum's friend had a lot of gold but the sickening thing was that they keep insisting to kill my mum. They were not sent assailants but it was more of a spiritual thing. The owner of the house,mum's friend had her picture everywhere on the wall but for some strange reasons they kept seeing my mum in the pictures and insisted that she was telling lies of not being the owner of the house. I began to speak in tongues, I promised God to be good forever if He spared my mum,so I just got the courage to speak up. I said please don't kill my mum,I have more gold in My bag and you can have the 12 bangles I have on,I was wearing a kaftan they must have missed it. They didn't beat nor rape anyone but there was something mysterious about killing my mum. They said even though you are the owner of this home and your pictures are everywhere,you are saved today. They left,they police came and we were all in shock. Princess asked my mum,why do they keep insisting that you were the one in the pictures? She said she had no idea. Mummy knew it was time to go back home,i followed her back to her friend's home,let me call her Hajia,my mum said,Ore we were just robbed;without any sign of surprise or shock in her face she replied " I know,I saw it all,but I still don't know why you weren't killed" Its more than 20 years now but I remember just like yesterday. The statement shocked me,my mum didn't say a word but she knew that was the last time, she would ever sleep or visit there. Now friends are good and can be better than siblings a times;but the heart of man is desperately wicked,beloved the devil can use anyone against you. The only true friend is Jesus. Are you shocked? Don't be! Parents killing their children for wealth,spouses betraying one another. The devil is real but we are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus. Be vigilant, ask for the spirit of discernment and God bless you. Thanks to my mum for this piece,I just hope I did justice to it the way she would. She will read it later and I would tell her to comment. Total friendship can only be found in Jesus. Are you born-again? Shalom, Sista Bola.

YOU ARE JUST HIS FRIEND SO PLEASE MIND YOUR BUSINESS! Part 2

I guess you are all dying to know what happened after. As I told you earlier I wanted this "Mr, a man must not allow his wife to be what God has created her to be". to learn a good lesson.I know he wanted his documents signed so I told my hubby,it would be signed but he would have to cost him.My hubby was very curious to know my plans. I went to the man at this office,who happens to be related to my mum, I told him my experiences with my hubby's friend and made him promise to sign the documents. I told my hubby to tell him to take the documents there,when he got there he asked to see the MD, they told him to sit, he sat for over an hour,my relative called me on phone,I told him I will be there in an hour.Mind you that was the last day to have the documents signed. I arrived ,exchanged plesantries with the secretary when I heard someone say madame good afternoon.Good day sir,I replied!,How is madame and the kids? I left briskly to the MD,office.After 30 minutes, I was about to leave, as soon as I closed the door behind me,He rose to his feet ,he looked tired and worried.He said madame I have been waiting to see the MD for such long hours, I replied, why didnt you tell me,let me go back inside and talk to him for you. I went inside,after 5 minutes I was out and he was called in.My relative the MD started by saying "oh you must really be a very nice person,she has told me about you,how nice you have been to her and how much you love women to succeed.I love to meet men like that,they are worthy of honour and respect" He signed the documents for him, believe you me.I am sure he died  to all his chauvinistic tendencies that day! He broke out in sweat and with shaky hands, he said thank you. He did not say much,he was too ashamed to say anything.His thoughts must have been "this is a woman I have always tried to bring down with my ultterances,yet she helped in the most profound way".As he was about to close the door the MD put the final nail to the coffin he said" By the way my wife is the CEO of xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx bank, incase you need a loan to facilitate your project, just keep me posted,she might be able to help". I could not see the look on his face,but his body language showed that he was enveloped in remorse.5 minutes after he left, I thanked my relative and left. I was proud of myself. proud of the wisdom I employed.I didnt see our "friend" for months, We decided to visit his family and I immediately noticed a different atmosphere.He started by saying how more women are needed in nation building,how wives should be allowed to follow their dreams etc.His wife told me we should leave the boys alone and go upstairs to talk about the latest fashion.It was just a ploy for us to be alone.She told me,how are husband changed after he got his documents and wanted to know what I did.I told her that was my secret.As we drove out from their home, I felt like a winner,not just for myself but for every woman, that has been looked down upon, just for what sex God created them to be, just for what they have in between their legs!God loves women, and He created  us to be unique! Shalom, Sista Bola.

YOU ARE JUST HIS FRIEND SO PLEASE MIND YOUR BUSINESS! Part 1

I promised you 2 stories yesterday;here comes number 2. I knew I had to do it because a man/woman is imprisoned by the word of his/her mouth. This is a story I wrote last year but its still relevant to our theme of, say no to any type of abuse.My prayers is that the players in this story would not read this because if they do,my hubby will be shouting my name;Bolatito! .Now I want to bring you another scenerio,the scenerio of the obnoxious friend, i.e hubby,s friend. We ladies dont really have that problem because if We have friends  getting on Our nerves,We quickly bring them to order or as most ladies do discard them.Believe me I dont fall into the category of the discarders{ I know there is no word like that but it just sounds rights!}Now back to my point, I know for married Sisters,there has always been this friend of your hubby that just does not like you,cant stand your guts,hates your passion and probably jealous of your beauty!OOPS! I said it,no I didnt say his wife wasnt good looking, You said it!Anyway there is this friend of his,who would always complain indirectly of how much of the liberty my hubby has given me. He will always find a way to fuse a topic on how a man should be in control at all times in any discussion, when I am around.Whenever we visit their lovely home and his wife would say things like, "oh! I heard you just came back from so so and so business trip,I wish I could have the strength to do so".I always smile,because the next thing Mr Chauvinist would say it "Sweetheart,thank God you dont have the strength for such things,you are so good around the house".I know this woman was dying inside,lovely home yes! Something was missing,she had no freedom.She would come to me in private and say,"I admire You, You are much more younger than I am ,but I respect You".I knew My husband saw all these, but he hardly contributes to the discussions,the only thing he says over and over is"My mama is very unique,you cant find any other woman like her,and after every visit to their home,He would say "Mama you are the best woman,I could not has wished for anyone better". I love you and I am proud of you!I made up my mind to get back at this man,but how? My opportunity came!He needed to get some papers signed at an office,he needed the contacts badly,guess who knew the man in charge? Me! I could have just called or sent him with a note ,no I didnt! I wanted him to pay,I wanted him off my back  for good.You are a vicar! Are you not suppose to be forgiving? Yes you are right! Yet the bible says in 1Cor 1:19" I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate". I wanted this man off my back for good,I wanted him off my case.I wanted him to respect women. I needed to teach him a good lesson.[CONCLUDING PART LATER,DID YOU EXPECT ME TO GIVE YOU ALL THE JUICY STORY IN ONE GO?}

Shalom, Sista Bola.

YOU CAN'T BE A FAITHFUL WIFE FROM THE GRAVE!

Pardon me beloved,I am a bit upset this morning because of something that isn't any business of mine. Yes I don't know the person involved but usually this kind of issue becomes everybody's issues,as soon as there is death involved. Its a case of wife battering. I preached in church last Sunday,and I spoke about domestic abuse,when I said if your husband beats you please let us know,people kept a straight face but when I said if your wife beats you let us know,the congregation burst out laughing. It was a joke to them,a wife beat her husband? no way! but its a normal thing for a husband to beat his wife until she goes into coma. Honestly yesterday I wanted to keep quiet on this lady that has been beaten,maybe countless times and her family reacted, not by beating the man o,but by sending him a stinking text message. He was angry and "banned" her from seeing them especially her sister. I read somewhere that victims after being with their abusers for a long period of time,tend to have empathy for them. Honestly I don't really care about these men;they don't have dignity and I believe most of them need help,because if we find out they have gone thru a kind of abuse that they are trying to hide by bullying or beating their wives. I am talking to you sister Susan,Sista Bisi and malama Binta,Ekaete and Uche you too are included, you need to wake up and break yourself from this constant boxing match,where you are constantly knocked out flat in the first round. Deaths of women everywhere,caused by a men that pledged to stand by them and cherish them till death,the only difference is that the death part came first before the cherishing. The first thing I asked before I counsel a women or man is;does your spouse beat you? how frequently? I got a message from a woman,she told me "he beats me often and never takes care of the home and I go to cook but he ignores me and makes me pay". Prayers is so good and I am for it 100% but you don't pray that a mad man leaves you alone ;you run!!! Why are women so afraid to leave terrible men,I mean separate from them,find a safe haven? I don't want you to think am an advocate of divorce no,I am pro family 100% but one of my aunt was a victim,she died and never came back,isn't that a loss to us? Why are women so afraid of leaving the tag of Mr&;Mrs behind? These men have so much brainwashed these women or abused them to a point that the think they deserve the beating. They think it must have been something I said or did. These men call their wives useless and after a while they begin to feel so. I believe you women with children that are being beaten ,blue black are selfish, Yes selfish! you allow those innocent children to witness this terrible scene over and over. You as a mum should protect them from harm,not expose them to it. My heart gets broken when I read messages of women in pain,I cry,I weep,I pray but most especially I wish these men could be locked up in cages. Why do you think a woman should be beaten and her weave-on yanked off? What has a woman done to deserve being stabbed? Are we all living in a fools paradise,that more people and organisations aren't taking this seriously ? We need a special anti-abuse department in our churches. Ha Kilode,oju obirin ri o!( God,women are going thru hell ) I am going to tell us two stories;you decide!Continue This first lady I will call E-baby she is my very good friend,we had our daughters a month apart and we become friends ever before we met our husbands. She was a secretary of an Oil company(not palm oil,petroleum ) in Lagos. She studied in the US and honestly very pretty,you know these dark ibo babes that are tall. She had everything going on for her,she drove and she lived in her own apartment in her big sister's home. Then disaster struck,she met this guy or because she was very nice to one of their security guys at work he decided to reward her with one of his town's man that just came back from "abroad" and has some money and also his mum was rich.My friend got married to a semi-illiterate, I could remember that this babe move in with 15 big boxes of her own and a big jewelry trunk. One of the reasons we even became friends in the first place,was her love for jewelry. They started off in a 3bedroom apartment, then within a year he built a 6 apartment block of 3 bedrooms ,but he hated her as soon as she moved him,his mum actually told her not to marry him because in her words" I betrothed him to my best friend's daughter". Honestly I wondered why my friend would ever like this guy,her sister is still one of the most wealthiest in Abuja,so it wasn't the money,I was so confused,it must have been that blind love that people often talk about. The abuse started almost immediately ,he would call her names,big for nothing,idiot etc then he told her to resign her job.I thought she was joking,when she told me but when I found out she was serious I thought she was crazy. I told her no,We prayed together,funny enough I have found out that men that are abusers know strong women. He told her all her friends aren't welcomed but I told him,that I trust I am not on the list,he quickly added you are always welcome Bola. Then she tendered her resignation letter,her boss the MD of the oil company and his wife called her,they asked her what was wrong,she told them its because of family,they were prepared to give her a special maternity leave,they loved her so much,her salary was so good but she left for love(no way,because she was afraid).Her boss was an American, he told her,I just pray you are fine,but she kept the pain away from everybody except me. They paid her off in millions and her husband said he needed the money to add to his business. She told me and I told her logically this man is a multi-millionaire ;please pray well. I knew he wanted the money to render her useless but again she was afraid.I even suggested given him a little out of it but she gave him all and according to her,he will repay her. Of course he did repay her with blows,kicks and the rest but what broke my heart was her having a still birth or so we heard in an hospital somewhere in a slum when she was registered in Citizen hospital,one of the best in Lagos, but was never taken there. The baby was a boy,he looked healthy she told me but the cause of death until today is still unknown . Then the real horror began,she would hide in her room and the door would be broken down,she was beaten with belt and the sort,her daughter saw all these,but one night my friend said she knew she had to leave or she would be dead by the following day. He started beating her and he broke a bottle and said she" if i don't kill you tonight,i won't be able to kill you again" She ran out of the expansive house and stood on the street shouting and wailing,she said she wouldn't leave without her daughter. Her lovely daughter my beloved god daughter was handed over to her. She continue her walk into the darkness of the night without any hope,no money and no home,but she was determined to survive with her daughter. Today about 8 years after,a lady that was almost stripped of everything including her dignity,is back on her feet. She lives a comfortable life in Abuja,her daughter will go off to the university next year,she lives well,drives a good car and runs a business. She is as pretty as ever and she is alive and well. You know why? She choose to live! She ran and never looked back. The guy has remarried and has boys now,but we hear that the horse-whip he used on her is still popping hot for his new bride.I duff my gele for my friend E-baby and all women in the world that did manage to "run" and to those who died,we will fight this crime,it wont continue in Jesus name. Are you being beaten? Are you too afraid to tell or leave? Believe me,your children won't visit your grave when you die. So because we love you,you don't allow anyone to make you feel inferior especially a spouse who took an oath to love,cherish and protect you. I rest my case on this and I pray that you sister that is more concerned about making your husband feel okay after he cheated on you and even have a trophy sex tape to show for it;beat you blue black and you landed in the hospital,rather than you waking up to the reality of the damage he is doing to you, I pray the lord helps you! Maybe you are staying because of the tag or maybe he is a dynamite in bed,its your cup of tea but remember all these things will end suddenly, if God forbid you are carried out in a bodybag or worse a Ghana most go bag. I hope I have shocked our sensibilities, please let's wake up and smell the pot of goat meat pepper soup. Love you all and please let's pray without ceasing! Shalom,Sista Bola.

MARRIAGE IS VERY PRACTICAL;ITS A DAY BY DAY JOURNEY.

Honestly,I thank God for the grace to be able to use this forum to save a lot of marriages. I usually take every case individually and also remember that no two people are alike. Naturally I had impatience, I didn't understand why things couldn't be done the way I felt was right,until God stepped in and began to mould me and tell me that those I considered "slow to understand" He created them too and whatsoever I might think I have in terms of understanding He gave it to me as a blessing to others. I usually get ecstatic when a wife that almost packed out of her home,few weeks earlier would call me or email to tell me that the steps I took her thru is working in her home and that her husband has changed or is changing for the better. Honestly I cannot tell you categorically what the steps are but whenever I read a message or listen to someone about their issues then the Holy Spirit begins to direct me on what best to say or write. People often wonder why I know so much about marriage, is she talking from experience? Yes and no. My parents didn't have the best of marriage and initially as a young lady,I told myself that why marry if its not going to be till death? So due to my "stubbornness", when I got married it had to be forever. Did I marry a fantastic man,no doubt! Did I marry a perfect man,not true! I married a man that was almost a priest, he was in the seminary for 14 years, he even wrote his thesis there,meaning he had just few months before becoming Father callistus (lol) before he left. I met him years after he left o,so that nobody will think I seduced a priest. What am I driving at? Isn't he supposed to be easy to talk too? aren't priests the ones that hear confessions? The first year of our marriage wasn't easy for me,I'm naturally a talkative when I am in a familiar environment,but not Father Callistus(lol) my hubby will never talk,you don't know when he was sad,happy or depressed. It was hard for me,believe you me,he did everything in the house because he is a clean freak and it got to me that he even picked up little crumbs and sand specks. He was a Christian but wasn't born-again, he was morally upright but had no personal relationship with Jesus.AndI felt he was a project that got dumped on me. He was loving alright and my friends would tell me how blessed I was,they were right but something wasn't right. You couldn't ask him questions because if he wasn't in the mood,he would walk away without a word. I thought to myself, I am in trouble,I married a mad man! God was speaking to me then,but I didn't understand. I never knew I had a strong ministry, never knew about prophecy. I heard God tell me clearly that he would change my hubby to be more open and that He will use me to save homes. To wives out there,please don't give up on your husbands especially when they don't beat you. My husband was perfect from the outside,every woman's dream but was cold on the inside. I needed help,I saw the relationship he had with his siblings,it was very cordial but not warm,his sisters told me they can count the times they saw him laugh. I saw that he was extreme in keeping his thoughts to himself,it couldn't work I was dying inside. Wisdom came from above and I began to engage him on long talks on the bed,I would say tell me about growing up? how was it when you went away to school? it was all about him now, nothing about me.I wanted to get to his heart and stay there;funny enough after about 16 years he tells me,only God knows what you did to me,I can almost not breath if i ever think that you are not there for me. I cry most times due to the love he shows me,he tells everyone how important "mamaa" is to him,but that didn't just fall from heaven. I work it out! yes heaven backed me up! Why am I sharing a bit of my life with you? Its because everybody seems to be a marriage counselor these days and they tend to make it look,like if you just pray without the practical aspects it would fall on your laps. It isn't true! After my husband began to "open" himself to me,I understood him more. I saw the training he got from the seminary, it was like a military training. I tried not to judge him or get angry when he suddenly cuts me off. I wanted to cry, I wanted to bang his head on the wall but I knew I had to get to his heart. We began to joke more,I would jump on his back and do silly things,and finally he began to laugh. One of his sisters was shocked one day,when she saw us playing,she almost wept,She had been his elder sister for almost 35 years at that time and almost can't remember seeing him laugh. I continue thru the help of God and I treat my husband with respect and it worked! I know he is reading this now and saying mamaa i know your secret now but its too late for him,he is hooked to me for life! Try to know who your spouse don't judge yours with others. Don't compare,ask God for help. I never forced him to be open,he choose to be I just guided him with the help of God. He saw something in me and although he thinks its part of my stubbornness that did it,atleast it worked for the best. I still remembered vividly on of our wedding anniversary,when my hubby stood up in the service and walked up to re-dedicate his life. I quickly cried in my seat and wiped the tears. I never asked him why or how, but he said that there is something in you that I want,with all your stubbornness,I want what you have. He wanted a closer relationship with Jesus and he got it! Years on and 16 years in, he is still disciplined but fun loving,there is nothing he keeps from me,infact I have passwords to all emails,bank accounts,everything! Not that he is a fool for doing that,but because he trusts me so much,loves me like Christ loves the church and I in return respect and cherish him. Can your husband really trust you? Does he see you as being matured enough to handle the truth? I am not talking about age,because at 18 I was already getting contracts. I am talking about you being able to let things go,talk less and show more understanding. Is my hubby 100% now? Nobody is,he still tries to carry some burdens by himself without sharing ;atimes I let him, most times I don't! Is our marriage made in heaven? Yes no doubt,but beloved its worked out here on earth! Do you think you are about to give up? Please talk to me,I might have something to share. Sorry to bother you with my epistle but I just needed to share this. To my darling hubby,you might be a bubble atimes but I love you,i get choice? To everyone,its not over till its over! Shalom, Sista Bola.

LET'S WISH THEM HAPPY FATHERS DAY TOO!

Happy Fathers day to all the men out there; who said I mistakenly impregnated her,it must have also being a mistake chasing the babe for months before getting her into your front door. Happy fathers day also to all the men who spend the weekends hanging out with the boys,of course those boys outings are more important than the children;no wait we understand,its an avenue to discuss business. Let's not forget to wish the men that has turned the mothers of their children into punching bags;afterall they are raising sons that might batter women or might be too scarred emotionally that they get confused about their sexual orientation. Won't we raise our glasses to the men that believe that a wayward child belongs to the mum and the one with 1st class honours has only his dna. I will like to close by giving the highest honour of the night (P.A.I) papa awuf international, to the men who doesn't consider the well being of their daughters but hurriedly give them out to the highest bidder, in exchange for a new television set and some bottles of imported "Cameroon" gin.(my Cameroon family,love you to bits) Wish them happy fathers day too,afterall there is a different between a father and a papa! Shalom,Sista Bola.

DON'T SAY I TOLD YOU SO!

Good morning,I expect you all to stay in bed a bit longer today and rest. Not for any particular reason but an hour extra of just relaxing,will do your body good. Today I want to talk about gossiping and the gossip. Gossiping is an act of indiscipline and it should be discourage in your children right from toddlers. Let them know that what goes on in someone's life that doesn't have anything to do with them isn't their business. There was this woman I know who could tell you the amount of ponmo (cow hide,kanda, cow skin,whatever) that her neighbour has in her soup pot. She was so bad that she destroyed a lot of relationships and marriages,but the one that got to me was the one,she did to her uncle's daughters. I was around 16 at the time. This woman would stay at the balcony and maybe memorized the car numbers of vehicles coming to drop young ladies on the street. She would find out who the men were;if they were married men,she would go look for their wives to tell them,where they could find their husbands and if they weren't married, she would go look for their families so has to give them 1st hand information on this woman"gal" and possibly give the car details of the other cars that had dropped this gal or still dropping her apart from their son. I disliked her so much that I tried to avoid her. She was a terror,even in the white garment church she attended that all their wolis "(prophets) had to give her good prophecy just to get her off their backs. I didn't understand the gravity of what she was doing on the street till I turned 18. She had a job,they were comfortable in their own right but gossip was so part of her. I felt then,that if she didn't gossip she could die. She never got to me;until she went home to the guy I was friends with. We were just friends nothing more,he would come home to me and would gist with my siblings,we would watch video or cable network, because there was no Facebook,twittering or the sort at that time. Yes she went home to them. She gave them information about who my father was,my mum's pedigree and the scary thing was that she knew where my father had landed properties. I almost died! She was worst than the CIA and FBI combined. Folks on the street hated her,people would come to her home and fight,rave and curse. She didn't really care and her husband Pa Gbenga was helpless. She was so good in hiding her own secret,people wanted something on her,but she was so smart. Then heavens blew the chicken feathers and its backside was exposed. You see I now believe that gossiping has a very terrible demon attached to it,it doesn't seek to destroy the person being gossip about but the person doing the gossiping,otherwise known as the gossip. She was a huge woman and often times,she would beat up her poor husband,this is a true story.There was a day she was beating the man that my younger brother had to break down their bedroom door just to save him. The children came asking for help. I think it was time to save the street from this woman then heavens sent her an Ibo driver. They ran a transport company so they needed someone to drive one of the buses. This charming young young got the job and has we will later find out,he was also working on her in the bedroom. As the story goes,she stopped sleeping with her husband in the bedroom and this driver always come to drop the key or give account at night,she would make him pretend to stay and watch tv. Pa Gbenga will go into his room and she will smuggle him into her room. She didn't have time for gossiping now,but people were still on her,they wanted their pound of flesh. I never knew that a whole street could unite in the cause to get a gossip. News started filtering, why do we see this guy leaving this house by 4am? Then one day;a woman called her a shameless woman and that she was sleeping with her driver. She beat the woman blue black and everything kind of fizzled out. Until if was time was heaven. It was on a Saturday morning around 10am,when the whole street was shaken by a voice that seems to be preaching. He wasn't preaching though ,he was confessing and crying profusely. The voice belonged to the driver,I can't remember his name now its almost 23 years ago. He said" you wicked woman,you were luring me into sin,you made me betray a man that gave me a job,by sleeping with you. I am so sorry,everyone should hear and help me pray to God". The driver became born-again and he decided to restitute. He walked in that morning and demanded to see Pa Gbenga, he confessed all the atrocities he committed with his wife and asked for forgiveness. I can't remember the church he attended but he must have taken this passage literally " confess your faults to one another" because heOf decided to confess it to the whole street. People were almost jubilant has the show of shame went on. A quiet street,full of learned people was almost turned into a carnival street. Pa Gbenga told him, he forgave him,he packed his personal belongings into the car and drove away for the weekend. The street gossip became like a jelly after this. I don't know what happened because,we moved away from the street but legend has it, that Pa Gbenga remarried and moved into a bigger house and she begged to follow and was given the ground floor because of her children. Years after that I drove down to the street and my old friends told me that the street had peace and has been that way since the gossip in number 18,was disgraced from the street. Anytime I remember her and I talk to my mum about her;she would say things like a"Bola, even if she is she is a pastor now I can't still trust her o". Mummy was she that bad? I would often ask. My mum would look at me straight in the eyes with an expression of shock and then add " oh God! Bola she was terrible". Don't indulge a gossip,don't encourage them, don't feed them with information. They are leeches and they feed on other peoples secret. Are you a gossip? In the church,at work or on your street. Ask God to deliver you,you can't do it on your own. Call on Jesus,HE will see you thru. Have a great weekend and be blessed. Shalom, Sista Bola.

SWEET MARRIAGE,WHAT WE WEREN'T TOLD IN CHURCH.

BABES! MARRIAGE ISSUES! AM SMILING YET AM DYING! I have this few tips for my sisters that I have gathered along,used and taught others in this 16years of mine in this university called marriage.You are expected not to resit in this university but i tell you that failures are not just every semester but it might be on every test and exams you take in this union. As a female minister these tips has helped my friends,sisters and even older women.Please lets go on this journey as I share my few secrets with you.The most important foundation that u need is Christ any other foundation is the lagos lagoon! So if you are reading this piece and you are not yet born/again, take a moment and accept Christ into your heart.Drop holy candle,baba in ijebu,mama sutana in ilaje and simply ask for help from the Holy spirit. Now thats settled! Lets move on to the issue of the day. I will be showing scenerios,tips and lessons. Act 1 scene 1- My hubby isnt born-again.Dont nag,cry,beg,rave or go auto pilot.Pray always not with him sitting in front of you and you asking the Holy spirit to change him, or praying in the next room with shouts of how God should come into his heart.No,no,no! Simply try these.Baby am off to church,food is in the fridge,microwave etc.Is there anything you would want me to do for you before I go? Am taking the kids so that you can have more time to do your work,finish your writings or watch your favorite sport.*cue to you saying,i love you so much,but Christ loves you more.Always do this with a smile and with real affection.Honey am back!Service today was wonderful.Make sure you always tell him the part that helps you become a better person,not the one that talks about unbelievn husbands.Pst X really spoke to us wives today,honey I just pray that the Lord helps me to be a better person.Lesson- He will begin to beat himself up in the inside,he cant take it anymore,why is she so nice? Who is this Jesus? What do they really do to them in that church? He will begin to ask himself this questions.Wala! one sunday morning,Wunmi, I will go with you to church today,I have a question I want to ask Pst X. You should simply answer,yes love you are welcome.

Shalom, Sista Bola.

BE DIFFERENT!

Ma

Many times,I wonder why evil thrives! I wonder why its always easy to do the wrong thing. You are children of the kingdom of God,dare to be different, make your mark on the right path. You might not be noticed here on earth but in heaven you are celebrated and in hell you are feared. Keep doing the right thing,continue on the narrow path of God and you will be blessed. It pays to serve Jesus,no matter how hard. He loves you,so rejoice! Shalom, Sista Bola.

SPOUSES AREN'T SOLD IN SUPERMARKETS!

I

Its almost 2:30am and a lot of people are in bed,but I can't sleep.So I sneaked into the kitchen to warm some left-over rice and after eating. I feel a bit guilty,couldn't I have taken a fruit or a snack? Anyway the rice I ate was little,I promise.lol!:-) I have handled a bit of marital issues and in most cases the wife is the one I usually talk to. I have always advocated a no divorce policy but in the same time,I must be sure that the woman isn't in any harms way. Most women complain to me about verbal abuse,and by the grace of God by the time will finish the counselling sessions(most times thru private messages on Facebook,skype and in critical times thru telephone) the abuse would have reduced or totally stopped without any divorce being in place. I would have loved to share some of the tips here,but the men would read it and make it ineffective for the women in difficult situations in their marriages. If you are a wife and your marriage isn't working the way it should,like my page on Facebook "Ask Sista Bola" and then send me a private message. Ladies you don't want to miss lunch with Sista Bola,this year in Lagos and Abuja,and make sure you buy tickets for your hubby,fiance or brother to Sista Bola is having lunch with the men. Everything that I have taught women on my page,on the phone,in seminars, in churches are biblical principles,and as been tested and proven. The Lord has also taken thru some of the things in my own marriage and honestly I wouldn't trade my hubby and home for anything in the whole wide world. I have to speak to my sisters,who have the idea that marriage is like an Hollywood film,where everything is perfect,from the planning to the wedding day,and then happily ever after without any hitch. The problem with a fantasy wedding is that as soon as expectations aren't met,the marriage begins to crack. Don't expect that pressure won't mount on your husband,someone that has been taking care of himself alone,now he has another person to take care of,he is scared and atimes confused.So in the bid for you to see him as macho, he picks a quarrel just to cover his insecurity. Over the years,I have studied my hubby and this has helped me not just only to have a blissful marriage but also peace of mind. We have to stop having it at the back of our minds that we can replace our spouses as soon as they hurt us or make mistakes. When Hillary Clinton forgave her hubby after the Monica Lewensky saga,many people couldn't believe it,many thought she was stupid, a great deal of women said,she disgraced the women folk. Beloved,when it's all said and done,and you decide to divorce your wife or husband,you will be the one alone at night licking your wounds or crying into your pillow. People say a lot of things outside but do you know,what is really going on in their homes? Yes! If your spouse cheats on you,it can hurt,but why don't you forgive and move on? Why don't you give him or her a benefit of doubt,and also consider the children in the relationship? I don't know why divorce is a common thing in the body of Christ nowadays, and when you really sit people down and ask them why they left their spouse,the answer they give is that they weren't compatible. I tell you,no man or woman is too difficult to live with. Prayerfully begin to observe your spouse,change the way you do certain things,change the way you talk,let your body language be different. You will see a change! God is interested in marriages and He is concerned about yours. Don't rush to condemn your spouse,no one is useless or worthless. Speak life into and home and watch God do wonders. The husbands find it hard,to forgive their wives especially if they cheated on them,please do. Women have forgiven their husbands over and over again, concerning adultery,why can't the men do the same? Don't expect a perfect marriage,because people are from different backgrounds and different pasts. Learn to appreciate individual differences and learn to overlook a great deal and comment on a few. Don't listen to Hollywood definition of marriage,your answers are found in the bible. Jesus will see you thru no matter how hard.He loves you! Be greatly blessed.Now that I have shared with you,I am off to bed.Shalom, Sista Bola.

DON'T FIX ME JUST FIX MY MARRIAGE!

Enjoy this is something,I wrote in 2012 on another blog.
I have promised you babes to be as honest and as blunt as I can. I am asking the Holy spirit to help me as I share my experiences with you.Our marriage,our homes is not like a menu in a kid,s party.Take a moment and picture foods served to children at a birthday party,most of the time,its simple,colorful and sweet. The peppers are almost never added.
Is that not the kind of marriage we all want? The sweet,rock me,hug me,kiss me,carry me like a princess marriage. Are you still day dreaming!Snap out of it!
May our homes be fruitful and sweet in Christ name,but darlings dont based your marriage on the pages of the mills and boom novels.{ Some of us read that in secondary school,didnt we?}
We wives want our marriages fixed most of the time,but not ourselves.
Now let me give you a perfect scenerio. Naturally I was born heady, I will not give up on a probelm until I find the solution.Some attribute it to the Ekitish[ a group of people living in the south-west of Nigeria] blood flowing in me. Most of the time I never rest until all is well.Can any lady identify with that? All is well if my been heady is only towards probelms and not towards my hubby!
I am making sense now,am I not? I can hear some ladies saying, oh my God thats me! You are right,because that,s me too some years ago and once in a while,when I ignore the voice of reasoning.
You want your way, You might not be brute or rude about it,but You  want things to go your way all the time.Selfish! Afterall I am the weaker sex in this marriage.Why is the marriage not going the way I want? I pray,I fast you might ask.I am a child of God,I speak in tongues,I follow all I am been told.God fix my marriage! Take a glass of water and make sure you are sitted,cos what I want to tell you might make you dizzy!You are the intruder in your home, the one that has refuse to kill the little foxes! The one with the spirit of division.Change,you cant have it your way,let a sub-way sandwich.You can only have it God,s way.The man is the head,thats the way the Lord wants it.You can pray that he sees things your way but you cant force! If I am not still getting to you,just answer this question as I leave to have my breakfast"Who has the honey-stick,you or hubby?  Have a great evening;Shalom, Sista Bola.

Welcome to Ask Sista Bola blog

Welcome to the Ask Sista Bola blog. The bible says do not despise the day of humble beginnings. As the Lord leads I shall continue the trend of my Facebook page here· Its going to be a Christian page where souls would be won for Christ,marriages will be saved and homes would be restored. I am still your host Sista Bola and I am going to be led by the Spirit as He helps me· I had to start this page for the benefit of people not on Facebook book· This is an healing blog,a place to find succour in Jesus Christ. This isn't a gossipblog,you can find those blog with thousands of followers. We love Jesus here and that's the way it's going to be. Your questions and comments are welcome. With Christ you and I can do all things. Let's raise our hands to heaven as welcome this baby,"Ask sista Bola" page. Be greatly blessed.Shalom Sista Bola.